Triple Tip
Quality Time. This one is a toughy.
What is quality time? Is it driving carpool? Is it being in attendance at your son’s school performances, piano recitals or ball games?
Is it more than that?
I believe it is. As time consuming as all of those aforementioned things are, they do not qualify for “One on One” quality time.
if you have two young boys or a boy and a girl that are relatively close in age try this for your “One on One” time. Use a timer. The amount of time will vary but never their response. They will love it, need it and maybe even appreciate it.
Do not exclude the “left out” sibling but if your daughter chooses tea time with you, the rule is that the only way her brother can be a part of it and be a participant is to let his sister call all, or most, of the shots. After all, this is her time. He does not need to participate in her activity. He can choose to play by himself, knowing his turn will be next!
When his turn comes he may choose to play checkers with you. His sister can watch or choose to play by herself. Frequently, you probably guessed it, her next “One on One” choice will be to play checkers with you.
This method also falls under Taking Turns and Sharing the Spotlight, thus a Triple Tip!
As your children grow older, their “One on One” time needs do change and you need to change with them. Observe what they enjoy doing. What is relaxing and fulfilling for them? What would be fun for the two of you to share?
I hate to say this, but at the end of an exhausting day their down time choice will probably be doing something on an iPad or cell phone. That is fine but it is not “One on One” time with you.
You might consider keeping a couple movies around like, “Eddie the Eagle” or ones that convey a moral victory or a success story. Give your son or your children a choice and they may surprise you and choose to watch the movie with you.
If they do not choose to watch the movie with you, you have not failed. You offered, you made the gesture and that works too.
“One on One” time sometimes just means reaching out. It says you are important to me and I enjoy your company.
You are helping your children to realize that if they are important to you, just maybe they can also be important to other people.
There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.
Love,
MarnaKay
Boys 