Space
There is free space and safe space. You are your son’s safe space but as he matures and hits high school age he also needs free space. You are getting him ready to leave home, to be on his own, either at college or in the work place. Either way, your eyes should not be glued to a GPS tracker on him and please don’t text him constantly.
He needs to learn to solve problems on his own and be able to seize that feeling of independence and success when he works things out on his own.
Working it out on his own means he found a way to solve his dilemma. It means he used sources at his disposal perhaps by talking with friends or talking with a high school or college advisor. It means he is able to think his way through a situation using the resources available to him.
In other words, you need to prepare him to make decisions without your daily input.
When your son is away at college I guarantee you that the highlight of your day will be when his name pops up on your cell phone. He won’t be calling often, and when he does, you don’t want him asking for your help.
You want to hear something like this, “Mom, I had this problem but don’t worry I already solved it. I really didn’t like the elective I chose. I talked to some friends who had other classes. Then I went to see my advisor and chose another class. It was so easy and this will be so much better for me.”
This is success! One more step toward the ultimate goal of being able to handle the unknown more serious problems yet to come.
There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.
Love,
MarnaKay
Boys 