Saying I am Sorry.

Saying I am sorry is also admitting to a mistake and we already know that most of us have trouble admitting we made a mistake.

However, I believe that saying I am sorry does not make us a weak person. It does the total opposite. It opens the door to communication. Any time this door is opened we are heading toward better and stronger relationships whether it be between parent and parent, or between parent and child.

If you can say you are sorry, your son will pick up on this very quickly.

You have just earned another teachable moment.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Admitting a Mistake.

We all agree that there is no perfect person. Then why is it so hard for most of us to admit making a mistake?

We all agree that we learn from our mistakes. Then why is it so hard for most of us to admit making a mistake?

Tough questions and I wish I had the answers. However, I do know that admitting a mistake makes us a stronger person, not a weaker person. It opens the door to growth for us. If we are able to admit making a mistake, it also teaches our children two big lessons:

1. If my parents admit to making mistakes and the world does not stop, then maybe I should not be afraid to try something new.

2. If I try my hardest and still make a mistake, it is OK. I can learn from this.

Remember Tip # 13

Not only what you say but what you do matters.

There you go. Another thought for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Grateful.

Some days are crazy for us and some days are crazy for your son too. Crazy in a child or teenage day is different than crazy in a day for us, but it is still real, very real for him.

How do you make a crazy day better for your son? That is a good question with no perfect answer. However, it can’t hurt and it just might help if once in a while you put a note in his lunch box or in his back pack. You can say whatever you want in the note but you might want to add that he is very special and you are grateful that he is your son.

There you go. Another thought for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Good Job.

Saying “Good Job” is nice but it is hard to own “Good Job”. Instead find him doing something right. Compliment him on that particular action. It will be the beginning of him taking pride in making good choices. This works at all ages and may be one of the most important things you will read today.

There you go. An easy lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Start Early.

Start early by surrounding yourself with friends that have sons around the same age as your son. You will learn from each other. Never underestimate the power of parents who care and share.

There you go. An easy lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Courage.

When we think of courage, we usually think of bravery against all odds, of heroes from historical battles. We learn from these men and women who have paved the way and maintained our freedom at great personal sacrifice. We owe them and their families a huge debt of gratitude.

However, there is another type of courage that is often forgotten, the daily courage of parents. These men and women wake up with a smile, oversee breakfast, pack lunches, give hugs and lots of love before dropping off their children. They also deal with stressful jobs, long commutes, flat tires, home repairs, running errands, grocery shopping, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house, paying bills, balancing the budget and the list goes on and on.

Is it time yet for parents to relax, well, not quite. There is carpool, ball practice, homework to oversee and, oh yes, some “one on one” time with each child.

If this was overwhelming for you to read then you know why you are tired, why you need a hug and why you definitely need a pat on the back. You are amazing and you are doing amazing things.

Having said all of this, you do understand there will be many days when you can’t possibly do everything on your “To Do” list and that is OK.

You are OK.

I like the following verse.

Courage does not alway roar.

Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day.

Saying… “I will try again tomorrow.”

By Mary Ann Radmacher

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Failing a Test.

A failing grade on a test should feel very disappointing and frustrating to your son and to you.

Why? What happened? You do not expect all A’s but you do not want him failing tests. Did he study enough? Does he not care? What is the problem?

Am I overreacting?

It is time to talk with your son. Listen closely to what he says. If he is lackadaisical, then there is a problem. No one likes to fail. He may be overwhelmed with the subject matter. Perhaps it is time to talk to the teacher or get him some tutoring sessions. However, if he is upset and says he tried but thinks “maybe” he did not prepare enough… and he says that he will try harder next time. Then you take him at his word and encourage him. We all learn by our mistakes.

In our guest bathroom we have a small framed verse that says:

Children need Love,

Especially

when they do not deserve it.

Author Unknown.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

A Bad Report.

Bad reports coming from outside the home are out of your control but how you handle it can make a difference.

If it is a bad phone call from school or from a teacher conference, be polite, listen very carefully to what they tell you and what advice they may have for you. Think of all the things you are trying to teach your son and remember to do them yourself.

However, until you hear your son’s version you only have one view. Let him tell his side of the story. Do not interrupt him. Let him finish. Then praise him for his honesty or question him on why his story appears to differ from that of his teacher.

Your son will not always meet the expectations of others. This can be a challenging time for both of you. He needs to know that you love him even when he does not meet the expectations of others. This is a learning experience for him and a teachable moment for you.

Little boys are known to be fidgety in class and rather noisy when they are walking down the hall. Having been a teacher myself, I know this behavior is often disruptive to the class and annoying to teachers but it is not a character flaw.

Your son is not the first one to exhibit this behavior and he won’t be the last. However, if age appropriate, help him to see the picture from the teacher’s point of view.

If this is the first bad report. Take it seriously, but let him know that tomorrow is a new day with a new beginning. Make a plan together on how to remedy the situation. Let him know he has an ally and a supporter who believes in him but one who expects to hear a better report the next time.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Mental Health

This month, when we hear the term mental health in Oklahoma, we think of the news report that an 18 year old woman was recently apprehended and accused of threatening to kill 400 students at a local school. It was reported that she said she was bullied, suicidal and homicidal. A shotgun, an AK-47 and rounds of ammunition were found in her bedroom.

Immediately we think of gun control issues. This is a worthy topic of discussion.

However, the state of New York has another idea that they have implemented. They are the first state to mandate mental health as part of health education in all their schools, elementary through high school. Their intention is to teach the students to recognize in themselves and others when they need help. Please google New York State Mental Health in Schools.

Teachers in New York are now discussing stress in the classroom and ways to lower stress in daily living. This is a big deal. The amount of depression and anxiety is increasing and especially with our teenagers. Suicide is the 2nd cause of death in ages 15-19 year olds.

The MarnaKay tips in this blog are meant to be brief quick reminders about how to love your son and help him to feel optimistic and confident. This is all good but there is a whole world out there that he needs to learn how to navigate. I applaud the state of New York for stepping up to the plate. I hope you will encourage your schools to do the same.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Respect.

Teach your son to Respect himself, Respect others and Respect personal property.

Point out to your son why he is special to you. Look for positive traits that seem to come naturally to him and let him know that you appreciate and respect these things that you see in him. It could be that you see kindness in the way he treats his dog. Or, you see patience as he attempts to teach his little brother to throw a ball.

As he grows and matures, continue to be on the lookout for other positive traits and let him know you respect the person he is becoming.

If he respects himself, it is easier for him to respect others. Everyone has something special and unique about them. Teach him to accept that fact first, then automatically he will be respectful of all people in all walks of life.

Material objects are certainly not as important as people or relationships but they do hold value. Teach your son to be mindful of taking care of his own personal property and respectful of the property of others, including school and community property.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay