Don’t Give Up.

We have all been told, “Don’t give up”.

It is even a famous song from Sesame Street by Bruno Mars. Here it is:

———————————

Don’t Give up

When you want to do something that is new

And it seems really, really hard to do

You feel like quitting, you feel you’re through

Well, I have some advice for you

Chorus

Do not give up, keep on trying

You are going to make it, (ah yeah) do not give up

Do not ever quit, try and try you can do it,

Do not give up (yeah)

————————————-

This is not a new thought but there is a reason why we always hear it.

It is important.

This would be a good song to sing during bath time with your toddler. What a great message you are implanting in his little mind.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Consequences.

In life there are consequences for our actions. Your son needs to learn this early.

Be prepared for this parenting challenge. Start early by gathering information:

Ask your pediatrician for his suggestions on how to handle inappropriate behavior.

Ask him or her to recommend a book that you can read.

Chat with your family and friends. Be open to their ideas.

Check the Internet for sources to review.

Now, you are ready to make a plan, which by the way, will constantly be changing. As your son ages your methods of discipline will also need to change.

Remember Tip # 2. Surround yourself with friends that have sons around the same age as your son. You will learn from each other.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Giving Advice.

Oh, my goodness, don’t we parents like to give advice. Usually, it is cushioned with the thought that we know a little more and, of course, we think the advice would be helpful to our children.

Now, I am not saying that giving advice is all bad. Sometimes it is absolutely necessary. The problem is knowing when to give advice and when to step back.

As your son matures into his own little person, try waiting, just a little while, before you step in. Ask your son how he intends to handle a situation. You may find that your advice is not needed. This is a big sign of growth in you and your son.

This dilemma of knowing when to give advice never ends, but there does come a time when we should almost never give advice unless it is requested. In my eyes, this would be when your son is no longer living in your home and no longer dependent on your financial support.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

A Passion.

Education should always be the focal point on your Goal Sheet but please allow your son to find something he looks forward to and enjoys. Help him to find a passion beyond the classroom and beyond part time jobs. Ideally, this would not only be something he enjoys, but something that relaxes and challenges him.

He may like Music, Painting or Building things with his hands. Musicians, Artists, Carpenters and Architects will be in the making.

Team sports may relax and challenge him. They are good character building tools because they are filled with many of life’s lessons such as:

Excitement of winning, disappointment of losing, sitting on the bench (taking turns), letting someone else carry the ball (letting someone else lead the team) and learning that being a team player and getting exercise are important in his daily life — now and in the future.

With our technological world new opportunities are on the horizon that we cannot even imagine. Robots are already a part of our future, drones too but what is next?

Let your son dream. Let him be himself. He may just be the one who comes up with the next BIG thing for our country and the world. Encourage him. Emotionally invest in his dreams.

AND, this is not insignificant, if he is doing something he enjoys, he is not out looking for things to do that might unknowingly lead him into danger or harm’s way. The temptations for teenagers are everywhere and you cannot be everywhere to guide your son.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Lower Your Voice.

Those around you may raise their voices to get your attention and it may work, at least for a while, until it becomes irritating. It will also irritate your son if you are always yelling.

If your son is not paying attention to you, instead of yelling, tap him on the shoulder that usually works. Or, speak very softly, just loud enough that your son can barely hear you. When he turns to look at you, you’ve got him, now begin speaking in normal tones.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Bullying.

A bully is a child who uses his words or his strength to intimidate another person.

My personal take on a bully is that, for some reason, he or she feels inadequate. In order to appear strong or worthy the bully uses inappropriate words or even his fists.

Using the MarnaKay tips should eliminate that feeling of inadequacy in your child. Being a bully will not feel right to your son but what if he is bullied? I have thought long and hard on this one. I do believe his self esteem will hold up. With your guidance, he can walk away and equate the bruising words to the other guy’s problem BUT what if it is a fighting situation? Then, he will need to defend himself.

No mother wants her son fighting but no mother wants her son taken advantage of and hurt either. This is a tough call, especially if it occurs on school grounds. A fist fight at school could come with consequences such as expulsion. Perhaps his friends will come to his assistance, there is safety in numbers.

However, if your son anticipates a problem at the bus stop or on the walk home from school he can always use Tip # 23, “No Questions Asked” and call his chosen driver to pick him up at school.

If later your son chooses to share his dilemma with you then it may be time to have a family meeting. Gather the appropriate members of the family around the table to discuss some pros and cons of how to handle the next situation, should it arise. Having valued input and making a plan will help alleviate your son’s fears.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Happiness is a Choice.

There are signs out there with the saying, “Happiness is a Choice”.

It is a good slogan but only if we make that choice and live our lives that way.

At my father’s 100th birthday celebration, some of his friends and relatives stood up to say a few words about him. When his great grandson at age 10, was asked if he had anything to add, he simply said, “Great Grand chooses to be happy.”

Sometimes it is difficult to be happy at age 100. His body no longer jumped at his command and things were harder for him but he did choose to be happy.

Many times I sat and watched him sit with his magnifying glass straining to read, and another phrase came to my mind, “He does not give up.”

Try to teach your children by example or by sharing biography books about people who choose to be happy and who don’t give up. Give your son positive images to guide him in the future when his days are not always easy, because those days will come.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

The Family Meeting.

During the journey of raising your son there will be times when more input is needed, when two or three or four heads are better than one. You, or your son, can call for a family meeting.

On these occasions there is usually a question, a dilemma or a problem that needs to be discussed. It can be as simple as planning a party for an aging grandparent or it could be as serious as dealing with a bully at school.

A family meeting can also be called to give affirmation for a difficult feat that has been accomplished.

A family meeting should not be called on a daily basis but it should not be considered a threatening event either.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Make some Memories.

Holidays are usually filled with special family gatherings and special memories. These anticipated holidays bring joy to your children.

What we sometimes forget is to take advantage of the special locations all around us. Take time to explore the surrounding towns, beaches, national parks, ball parks, amusement parks, mountains, lakes… Whatever is in your area, find it, enjoy it, make some memories. One day trips can be just the change of pace that you and your family need.

Don’t be one of the thousands of people who do not use all their vacation days!

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

I started this blog, raisingboysthejourney.com, not because I think I know all the answers but because I am sure that I do not know all the answers. I see a problem that concerns me and I don’t know how to fix it.

I see the daily news filled with reports of a prominent public figure who appears to be quite comfortable indulging in name calling, bullying and lying. He can’t seem to say I am sorry, I made a mistake.

It frightens me that our children and young adults will soon see this behavior as acceptable. Will they think this is the way to succeed in life? It is our parental job to ensure that this does not happen. We must be good role models.

It makes me feel better to try to do something. So, my contribution is my MarnaKay blog of basic reminder tips. These tips are for the parents of girls and boys. This is my first attempt at blogging. I am finding it difficult for this blog to reach a lot of people but I am trying. Remember Tip # 13. Not only what you say but what you do matters.

There you go. Another thought for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay