Meets Expectations.

Your son needs to be corrected when you see a problem area but what he needs even more is to know when he meets your expectations.

He absolutely needs affirmation when he has done something right or something good. He needs to know he is good enough. He needs this positive attention or you may find he will seek out your attention in negative ways.

Please do not take for granted all the good things he does.

Occasionally, he will exceed your expectations. What a great feeling for him and for you, this is noteworthy, special and memorable. Try writing him a note and leaving it on his bed or under his pillow so later that day he can once again experience that triumphant successful feeling.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Triple Tip

Quality Time. This one is a toughy.

What is quality time? Is it driving carpool? Is it being in attendance at your son’s school performances, piano recitals or ball games?

Is it more than that?

I believe it is. As time consuming as all of those aforementioned things are, they do not qualify for “One on One” quality time.

if you have two young boys or a boy and a girl that are relatively close in age try this for your “One on One” time. Use a timer. The amount of time will vary but never their response. They will love it, need it and maybe even appreciate it.

Do not exclude the “left out” sibling but if your daughter chooses tea time with you, the rule is that the only way her brother can be a part of it and be a participant is to let his sister call all, or most, of the shots. After all, this is her time. He does not need to participate in her activity. He can choose to play by himself, knowing his turn will be next!

When his turn comes he may choose to play checkers with you. His sister can watch or choose to play by herself. Frequently, you probably guessed it, her next “One on One” choice will be to play checkers with you.

This method also falls under Taking Turns and Sharing the Spotlight, thus a Triple Tip!

As your children grow older, their “One on One” time needs do change and you need to change with them. Observe what they enjoy doing. What is relaxing and fulfilling for them? What would be fun for the two of you to share?

I hate to say this, but at the end of an exhausting day their down time choice will probably be doing something on an iPad or cell phone. That is fine but it is not “One on One” time with you.

You might consider keeping a couple movies around like, “Eddie the Eagle” or ones that convey a moral victory or a success story. Give your son or your children a choice and they may surprise you and choose to watch the movie with you.

If they do not choose to watch the movie with you, you have not failed. You offered, you made the gesture and that works too.

“One on One” time sometimes just means reaching out. It says you are important to me and I enjoy your company.

You are helping your children to realize that if they are important to you, just maybe they can also be important to other people.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Some days are harder than others.

Sometimes everything you try seems to be difficult or not working or frustrating…

You get the picture.

Have you stopped to think that your son also has days like this?

One day my youngest son must have had one of those days because he jumped on me when I was not doing anything. Righteous as a mother could be, I told him he must be having a bad day and please not to take it out on me. He was annoyed but he must have been listening.

Not too long after that I was having a frustrating day and without realizing it I took it out on him. His response was priceless. He fed my words right back to me and he was so right!

Recognizing we are not perfect can be a good lesson too.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Trust Starts Early.

Let it be known that you believe what your son tells you.

If he truly believes you trust him, he will want to live up to that trust.

Your opinion helps to make him a trustworthy person.

Of course, if you do not ask the right question you may not get the whole story.

Boys are smart and clever. Remember an omission will not feel like a lie to him.

This is a challenging area, especially with teenagers, but remember they do want to meet your expectations and they want to be trusted and valued.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Drive Carpool with a purpose.

Who knew this “job” could be so beneficial to our understanding of what is happening in the world around our children. However, this will only work if you make a rule that everyone in the car, including the driver, put away his cell phone for the first 5 to 10 minutes of the ride.

Ask a different child each day to use the clock app on his phone and set the timer to 5, 7, or 10 minutes. You are no longer in control. Your passengers are. When the timer goes off they are free to use their phones.

Hopefully, they will discover that social interaction still works and that texting is not the only way to communicate AND you will learn what is going on around your children.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear.

Love,

MarnaKay

Encouragement is empowering.

My 4 year old grandson had a new car seat, at least new to me. I was struggling to fasten the buckle. He said, “It is like a puzzle. You can do it, Mimi.”

This was empowering to me. He gave me a hint but he let me figure it out on my own thus enabling me to own my accomplishment.

Encouragement is empowering at any age.

Never forget this, encouragement is empowering.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Always keep your promises.

A broken promise to a 3 year old feels like a crisis.

A promise made to a teenager is a verbal contract. Breaking a contract has consequences.

Words matter.

What you do matters.

There you go. Another lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Back to Basics:

Choose one tip at a time. Write it down. For one week place this tip where you will see it, for me, that would be attached to my cell phone. Other suggestions, clip to your hand towel, tape to your TV remote or your computer.

Do we have a plan? Please let me know what works best for you.

There you go. An easy lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Why Boys, because children are our future! If I can share one good idea to make your child’s life better and thus your day smoother, happier and more complete then this will be a good day for all of us!

Do you have brothers?

NO, well, neither do I but if you are looking for some help, you have come to the right place. Raising boys is a special gift given to only special people, the parents of boys!

You know you are having a boy or maybe you already have a toddler, or heaven forbid a teenager! It does not matter once you have that little guy you are hooked forever. Yes, forever, those baby books do not tell you that, do they?

I was told that as we age we have some useful wisdom and experience to share and that it is our responsibility to do so. So, I am sharing.

Some of the basics do change over the years, for instance babies should sleep on their backs. It was not that way when I brought my sons home. Therefore, your basic guidance should come from the nurse and the doctor before you take your baby home from the hospital.

The guidance that I share in this blog will be a series of brief tips about how to raise optimistic, confident and responsible young adults.

It won’t surprise you to learn that these suggestions work for girls too, maybe even friends and spouses…

Sometimes raising boys can be stressful and those of you who already have sons know that it is a work in progress, no quick fixes.

Sounds daunting, I know, but start early by regularly doing Tip # 1. You will find that it will help during most stages of your son’s life.

Tip # 1

Saying “Good Job” is nice but it is hard to own “Good Job”. Instead find him doing something right. Compliment him on that particular action. It will be the beginning of him taking pride in making good choices. This works at all ages and may be one of the most important things you will read today.

There you go. An easy lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Tip # 2

Start early by surrounding yourself with friends that have sons around the same age as your son. You will learn from each other. Never underestimate the power of parents who care and share.

There you go. An easy lesson for today. Now, go and love your son in your own special way. Some days are long but, trust me, the years will just disappear!

Love,

MarnaKay

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton